A silver lining to my stupidity?
05 March, 2003 :: 10:59 a.m.
It turns out I didn't cut my own jugular...so HAH! Lacey just disappeared on me into cyberspace somewhere--MSN says she's on, but messages aren't getting through--but not before we had a really good talk.
I decided what the hell, lay all the cards on the table because I think we've honestly become friends and I can do it without her freaking out. So I told her why I was sending entries instead of giving her the diary address in the firt place...and hey, we're both wrestling with this it turns out.
We like each other, but neither of us wants to jeopardize our friendship or lose respect for ourselves or hurt Andy. What will happen in the future? Who knows...but at least we can talk to each other about all of this without freaking out. And now she can just read my diary (Hi, Lacey!) without me worrying. So I'm feeling much better about all of that. I'm just happy I've made another friend who is intelligent and actually seems to understand me and whom I can be honest about my feelings with--whether they pertain to her or whatever else.
And she's a guy chick like Erin which is awesome--a girl who can actually sit and watch movies like Monty Python and the Holy Grail and laugh instead of sitting there acting mildly annoyed and waiting for it to be over. I've always hated that. It's nice to know that there are cool girls out there who like video games and movies and shit...the important stuff in life, but who aren't total jackasses like guys who tend to like those same things. So yeah, I've got a thing for Lacey and I don't know what if anything will come of it, but I'm not doing anything to screw up the friendship...go ahead and laugh! I'm trying to actually get this right this time...I'd rather have a couple of very good friends than a stupid fling that results in me losing another.
I haven't slept yet, but I'm feeling good. Woooo. <---look at that! A nonsarcastic woooo. Wonders never cease...