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2001-12-31 :: 4:28 p.m.

Well, my first diary goes:

I've come to the conclusion that love sucks. See, I was always someone who was on my own and I liked it that way. Always kept to myself. I had a few friends that I'd hang out with now and then, but I spent the majority of my time alone because that's how I liked it. I don't really like people...I like some people as individuals, but humans as a whole, I hate. Anway, I met this girl and she was great. I fell totally in love with her. I'd gone out with girls before, but always on my own terms, never in love. I had fun,then went back to being by myself. But this girl changed that. She got me to open up and need her. We went out for three years and then she dumped me. I let myself believe in love, believe that I could rely on another human being and then just like that, she drops out of my life. Love just makes you weak. Now I'm back to being on my own and I'm no good at it anymore. Not just her though...if I don't have a friend or someone around to talk to or at least home when I call, I go nuts. I don't like being cut off from people anymore. I really need to find that part of myself that I was in touch with before that was independent and didn't need people. This just sucks.

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