Bottoms Up
26 February, 2002 :: 11:20 a.m.
Do we really need toilet paper commercials? I mean, let's be real! We all use it, we all need it, so do we need commercials for it? I don't need to see animated bears taking a dump in the woods (an implied dump, but a dump nonetheless), I don't need to see women sitting around quilting toilet paper and talking about how it leaves you "squeaky clean"...I personally don't want my ass sqeaking when I walk. There's a commercial now that is all butts, and then talking about how that's an important area to keep clean--DUH! It's a biological necessity to take a shit every now and then and women need toilet paper for mounding up on the toilet seat in public restrooms...or the toilet of a bachelor whose place they are visiting...unless you are a disgusting pig, you know that you need to use toilet paper and it seems like these companies could put their money to much better uses than commercials reminding us that we need to wipe, we don't want a toilet paper that's rough, and we don't want a toilet paper that leaves lint on our bottoms. I go to the store and I look for a toilet paper that is two-ply and soft and is fairly inexpensive (although for something this important, I guess I'm willing to pay whatever they charge me for it). That's it. I have never headed to the store to buy toilet paper based on a commercial I've seen on tv. I avoid the generic brands because there are somethings that just aren't worth saving a couple of cents on, if I buy a toilet paper once and I don't like it, I try something else next time...when I find one I like, I'm not switching unless the stores stop carrying it. It's not like cereal or even body soap where, hey, maybe it's fun to mix things up once in a while. It's toilet paper! I find a good one, I stick with it...I don't change on a whim because it's got aloe added to it or it's soft as a cloud or anything. And while we're at it, why do 6 double rolls cost more than 12 single rolls? The company is saving money because they don't use as many cardboard tubes and less plastic to wrap it in, yet it almost always costs a little bit more. What gives? Okay, this is not something I intended to write about...a toilet paper commercial came on while I was signing on...I'm done ranting now...at least on this subject. Good day.
