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In praise of irrationality
31 March, 2002 :: 8:07 a.m.

For many years I thought that I was odd because it's not so much that I'm scared of heights (I actually usually find them exhilarating), but I'm scared of the irrational urge that I sometimes have to jump and that one day that urge will get the better of me.

I also used to think I was strange because for many years I would have at least one night a month, sometimes several nights in a row, that I couldn't sleep. I would lay there terrified that I was going to die in my sleep if I succumbed to the urge to sleep. This usually resulted in me getting maybe an hour of sleep if I was lucky, and often no sleep at all. Actually it wasn't necessarily always the thought that I'd die that night, but that I would die eventually and had no idea what was waiting for me on the other side...that fear hasn't gone away, just now I usually contemplate it while I'm awake.

I have since found that other people have experienced both of those things and I feel much better to know I'm not alone in absurd and irrational thoughts.

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