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Why can't I have a normal, relaxing night off like everyone else?
12 July, 2002 :: 12:20 p.m.

Holy fuck...

Well, last night will be marked in my memory as one of the most fucked up nights to date. I am assuming that Emily is sitting in jail right now, but I'm not sure. Why is she there? I felt she had left me no choice but to go to the police.

It all started innocently enough. Monday night at work, Amber asked me if I wanted to get together with her and Tara and whoever else they rounded up to come along on Thursday night... I said yeah, that sounded like fun. I told Emily about it the next day so that if she was going to complain she could get it out of her system before Thursday.

A note before I go on:

Emily and I broke up and that will be addressed later, but that was what the entry about another chapter ending was about...little did I know that there was more to this chapter than I thought and I'm still not sure exactly how far I've got to go before the next chapter.

Okay, so Thursday rolls around and I still haven't set up anything definite with Tara or Amber, but I'm still planning on getting together with them so I e-mail Tara and she gets back to me and says that yes, it's still on. I get ready that night and Tara calls and says she's calling Amber to set things up and that she'll call me back...she calls back and says she left a message and after Amber gets back to her she'll come pick me up.

In the meantime Emily has begun the same shit she pulls any of the rare occasions I go out without her...her "poor me, I don't have anything to do, no one to hang out with, nowhere to go...yadda, yadda, yadda." This from a girl who prides herself on having lots of friends and who doesn't mind going out without me--granted it's usually nights that I'm working that she goes out w/o me, but if she can do it, and especially if we're broken up, why the hell can't I?

Tara shows up, I tell Em she can use the car and go hang out with any of her friends. Tara and I go to Mark's Brother's (local bar for anyone new) to meet Amber. At this point we were unsure whether we were staying at the bar or going somewhere else. Amber had a cold and wasn't feeling the greatest so she didn't want to go anywhere else and she left before the rest of us. Her friend Felicia, whom I recognized from work but didn't know until then, stayed and had a friend named Kristen with Tara and Felicia and Kristen and myself sat and talked and were having a good time when Emily comes strolling in. I didn't see Em when she first got there...she finally made her presence known, but I could tell she was already acting pissy so I didn't bother to introduce her to anyone...especially since she already doesn't like Tara and I'm trying to avoid drama. HAH! Fat chance.

Emily asks to speak to me off to the side and starts yelling at me that I didn't introduce her or include her...well duh, I told her I was going out without her and she wanted to act snotty as soon as she showed up. I didn't need that vibe...but that vibe I got for the rest of the night. Okay, so Tara is off in her own drunken happy world, which I'm really glad for because I think most of what happened bounced off of her...she knew there was tension, but wasn't hearing Emily call her a bitch or anything else.

Then Tara left just before last call and Felicia and I sat there talking because she had just been on a trip to Darien Lake with Char and said that while she could sense some bitterness or whatever, for the most part Char didn't talk bad about me and said something to the effect that she did love me (I'm assuming this is did past tense, not did as in did still love me), but that things just hadn't worked between us. Well I know this, but I don't get it...why say stuff like that when you're with friends, but badmouth me to a few people that I've been getting to know at wal-mart...I still do love Char and I want her to be happy, but I want her to let me be happy as well, that's all.

So we were sitting having a nice conversation and trying to ignore Emily being loud and saying shit at the other end of the bar...finally Em comes over and leans past me into Felicia's face and starts being incredibly rude...Felicia was just like, "We work at the same place, we're just trying to have a conversation." To which Em responded by threatening to kick Felicia's ass. Now Em's a big girl, but Felicia is too and I've been on the end of Em's tirades and she's not that tough, she only thinks she can fight. This is why no real damage has been done to me by her *up to that point* (that's what they call foreshadowing, kiddies) and why I've dealt with it *up until then*. Anyhoo, I think Felicia could have handled herself, but while we work at the same place, we work different shifts and this is the first time we'd really talked and I really didn't care for her being exposed to this.

I think that is all the important stuff from the bar...then we left the bar...stay tuned.

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