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Generic update of life in general
26 July, 2002 :: 2:08 a.m.

I'm not exactly sure what is happening in my personal life right now, but it seems to be fairly good. I've been mostly having fun doing whatever it is that I've been doing with whomever it is that I've been doing said things with. How's that for confusing?

Anyhoo, I'm glad to be in a better mood because, to be frank, I annoy the hell out of myself when I get like I was acting Monday and Tuesday. Anyone who reads this diary can just skip over those whiny, bitchy, poor me entries. I, however, am stuck with myself...and fun, fun, fun, I usually don't sleep all that well during these times, so I get to spend even more time with myself.

Laughing, talking and drinking...those are the simple joys and I'm back to being able to do all three. Poor planning for tonight though left me with no one to hang out with past 11 and nothing of my own to drink. But there's one good thing about having had to move back to my parents' house while saving for and finding a new apartment--they have stuff to drink. Here's hoping that Mom doesn't check this entry because I opened the bottle of Bully Hill wine that we bought her for Mother's Day...I will replace it soon, but it would be just my luck that tomorrow of all days since M's Day that she decides to open it. I'm not fond of sitting at home drinking alone as a habit, but when you've got a good book to read and a good bottle of wine to drink with it, why the hell not.

But I was in the mood to check out the online world briefly and, as is usually the case, none of my friends are around...not even Erin this time. Erin, I haven't seen you online once since that night and everyone who is listed on my favorites list has again gone into hybernation again...only Hodgson continues to update on a near daily basis. Here I was doing excellent for a bit, if you don't count quality content as a requirement of keeping my diary updated and everyone else fucks off to the real world to live life and not write about it.

The biggest complaint with staying with the rents isn't the fact that it's somewhat humiliating to have to run home, even if it's just for a few months, to Mom and's the fact that they don't smoke and so I can't sit at the computer or in a comfy chair reading a book and also enjoy a smoke. It's downright chilly tonight and I really don't want to go outside to smoke, but soon I will cave to the urge. On the subject of smoking, the new gas station opened at wal-mart two days ago and they have their own brand of cigarettes that are supposedly similar to Camels for $1.68 or something ridiculously low like that...considering a pack of Camels now costs me $3.66 at the smoke shops and $4.59 or up elsewhere, I may learn to live with generics if they aren't that bad. Stop smoking? Not when that's what they want me to do.

I talked to someone at the assistant D.A.'s office today, well yesterday now, about dropping charges against Em because this has all gone too far, but they told me I have to wait until next Thursday at the preliminary hearing to talk to him. Why do today what could save tax payers money and get problems solved when you can drag it out indefinitely? God, I love the government and in particular the justice system right now...

Oh yeah, I resisted the temptation to burn myself. I would still like to do it, just to feel it again which I know probably sounds strange, but I don't really feel as though I can right now. But the way things have been going, any day could change that.

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