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Let us pray
09 November, 2002 :: 6:42 a.m.

I'm having one of those days where words I've used a million times suddenly seem strange and suddenly I doubt my ability to spell them...I just tried writing the word "imagining" and it seemed absurd. So I wrote "imagine" and just stared at it for a minute then tried retyping it several kept coming out the same way and I'm positive that it's spelled right, but it doesn't look like a real word...I know I'm not the only one this happens to. Why does it happen at all?

I tried writing several entries Thursday night/Friday morning, but I kept blanking out. In mid-sentence I would start typing about something entirely I gave up.

Topic of the day...why do people take religion so seriously and why do people get so easily offended? Teri's parents don't "approve" of me because I'm not Christian. That right there is one of the reasons that I'm not Christian. Too many Christians are unaccepting of someone whose beliefs don't match their own. I have nothing against Teri's parents, they are nice people...I'm just not digging the fact that that is their first question when Teri dates someone and if the person isn't Christian, they get hung up on that without knowing anything more about the person.

I have a strong dislike and mistrust for organized religion. When I was forced to go to church when I was younger I saw way too many hypocrites there; way too many people who spent most of their time being assholes and seemed to think that showing up for that hour a week made up for it. For so many of them it wasn't about religion, it was about keeping up public appearances. It sickened me. Then, just as Mom was pushing me to go through the classes to become a member of the church, I decided that I didn't buy into the whole God thing. This went over well.

I sat there and argued with the minister, pastor, whatever he calls himself in the Presbyterian faith about needing proof if I was gonna make this huge commitment to this being. I mean you don't sing all the paperwork and fork over a huge bundle of cash to someone because they tell you they have this great house for go and see the house first. Why? Because people lie. People wrote the damn Bible so why would I take their word for it that a bunch of weird stuff took place and that these things were acts of God? God used to talk to people and perform all sorts of miracles, then suddenly he just clams up?

So anyway, the reverend (sp?)--that's what he's called!--gave me the "if you find a watch in the desert, the watch didn't just magically form itself there, it must have a creator..." BLAH! I do believe there's more to life than we're born, we live, we die--but not because of a lame argument like that.

A big problem for me with organized religion: most of them would have you believe that there's is the only "right" one and if you don't believe what they believe, you are screwed and tattooed. Catholics believe that you have to confess your sins to a priest--if God knows all, then he knows what I did and he knows whether or not I'm truly sorry. I shouldn't have to go to another human for forgiveness. If my sin was wronging another human being, shouldn't that person that I wronged be the one I ask for forgiveness if I'm gonna ask another human?

I just don't understand how another human being can decide whether I'm a decent human being based on whether or not I profess to be of the same religion as them. I could be a serial killer, but as long as I smile, make small talk and profess to believe the same thing as someone, they'll think I'm an okay guy; if I tell them I believe in spirituality and in striving to be a good human being, but that I don't subscribe to the same beliefs as them, I'm no good.

So many "people of faith" are so close-minded that it hurts to think about it. I want to go to Teri's parents' house wearing a WWJD (for a Klondike bar) t-shirt that I saw online. It's not the greatest shirt in the world, but it's funny just for the fact that it's so mild and yet it would piss so many people off. If God created us, then he must have a sense of humor--just look at could this being create us unless he/she had a great sense of humor?

I believe that there is more than just what we live, I believe in something, I just don't know for sure what that something is. As far as some sort of judement day or whatever, if there is something like that I believe that being a good person with a good heart is what counts, not how many things you confessed or how many times you went to church. I believe in Karma and striving to be the best you can. It baffles me that someone can decide whether or not I'm worthy of their daughter's time based on my relgious beliefs.

No, I don't like organized religion, but I do not automatically dislike someone because they are Christian or Muslim or Wiccan or anything else. You are free to believe what works for you and I will respect you for your beliefs.

I need coffee.

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