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I was distracted and this was taking too long, so it ends abruptly
12 November, 2002 :: 3:07 a.m.

When you're reading a book and you identify with the main character, that's usually good because you're going to enjoy the book; when you're reading Girl, Interrupted and you identify with the main character you have to stop and think, "Wait, she was in a loony bin for two years..."

Or at least that's my thought after reading the book. I'm reading and I'm like, "she seems normal enough...wait, so was she normal and locked up wrongly or do I need to be?" Anyway, I finally got around to reading it like a week or so ago and for some reason it's been popping into my head tonight.

I need to make a doctor's appointment...for several reasons. This cold isn't a cold. I don't vomit when I just have a cold and I don't feel this much like ass for so long with just a cold. But if history is anything of an indicator, by the time I see the doctor this will be long gone. So on to reason two--I've been feeling (even before the cold) like all I want to do is sleep and, as I said before, this is a personal sign that something ain't right. I detest more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep a day. I also feel like giving up on everything and it's all hopeless...not that any of this is new to me, but they aren't usually looming at the front of my brain. I know it's bullshit, I know that whatever this is will turn around. It's just the getting through it that's the bitch. Then I'll be my bright, shiny, happy self and can go back to charming the world. Err, yeah, anyway, I can go back to the world. Reason three--I need to learn to be a more mellow person. Maybe the doc can direct me to the person that helps that sort of shit.

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