Twisting, winding, going who knows where...
30 January, 2003 :: 4:11 p.m.
So...ever known someone that EVERY SINGLE TIME they open their mouth and say something you are overcome by the urge to punch them repeatedly in the face or choke the life out of them?
Now I use the word hate too often--I say I hate this person or that show or this entertainer...all I really mean is that I have a strong dislike for something about them...whether it's their acting/singing/whatever, or it's just a show I really don't enjoy at all or it's a person that I just don't relate to and don't agree with...but Chris or whatever poser-ass intellectual way he probably spells it...ugh. I literally hate him. He is the most pompous, egomaniacal, pretentious, idiotic...ARGGHHH...I could go on and on with adjectives, but you get the idea...motherfucker I've ever had the displeasure to meet.
He was the one thorn on the trip to Boston last spring...in the van, every time he opened his mouth I wanted to jump back over the seats and choke him until his eyes popped. I guess I do owe him though because he woke me up to the fact that I use "hate" too much and it has become watered down. I really do hate him...I can't think of another human being that I actually HATE.
One year ago he'd never read Emerson, or had very little knowledge of him...anyway, now he is the most supreme Emerson scholar ever to have lived...he probably think he understands Emerson better than Emerson did. And he's like this on ALL subjects! Introduce him to something he knows nothing about and within a month, maybe even a week, he's walking around talking to everyone about it like he invented whatever it is. I swear he would walk into a hospital and shove the surgeon aside in the first operating room he found and insist he could do the operation himself. I want to go to tshirthell.com and get him the tshirt that says, "I'm just pretending to be a poser"...that would be perfect for him. How many classes have I had of Emerson/Fuller so far? Five. And I missed one...so at least 3 of the 4 I've made it to he's piped up to correct someone--and he corrects them for something they didn't say! He did it to me...said that I said that because Emerson is 200 years old you can't get anything out of it...I NEVER said that. I said that Nature as Emerson defined it in his essay doesn't exist anymore...how the fuck is that anything like, "You can't get anything out of Emerson these days because it was written so long ago"?!?!?!How the fuck is it? That was like the fist week...but that's besides the point...it's the fact that this fuck is alive at all that pisses me off...right now he's somewhere pretending that he knows more about something than anyone else...probably something like telling a group of women what it's like to have a vagina or something...that's the type of person he is. And he opens his mouth all the time. Except our last class (prior to today...what the hell is today? Thursday, so Tuesday)and honestly I think he didn't say much because he didn't understand the essay because it was a bitch of an essay.
And I love the class, but I was so frustrated today because it's one of those classes where we easily get off the topic we're supposed to be discussing (Emerson's sermon on The Lord's Supper in this case) and we ended up on genocide...first Native Americans and then women in modern times...I mean all of it was interesting and I enjoyed the discussion since Chris kept his mouth shut the last half of class more or less...but I read my essay OUT LOUD today before heading to class, practicing because I wanted to share it and see if I was totally off base or if other people saw the things that bothered me with the essay...namely Emerson's Jew and Pagan bashing and the fact that I think he didn't carry his interpretation of "This do in remembrance of me," and the other little speech Jesus supposedly gave the disciples. But I agreed with Emerson overall, I just had a few bones to pick with him...but we ended up on Native Americans and women and how they were/are abused in American society...and I agreed with most of what was said and would have liked to have participated in the discussion but I was all set on my essay and the reading for the day and I couldn't shift gears fast enough. Plus I had maybe an hour nap last night before my night class and aside from that I've been up since 3:30 Wednesday morning. So that wasn't helping my brain move any faster...my brain just kind of froze and was like, "but this isn't in 'The Lord's Supper'! and I wanna talk about the sermon...I prepared!" Sorry brain, maybe next time. No class Tuesday because it's Dr. Sornberger's b-day and no essay for next week! So we get the gift. She's prett attractive in that brainy way for someone who's in her late 40's. But then I've always had a thing for older women...of course I'll never have one of those older women that I fantasized about because by the time I get one, I'll be that age too so it won't really be the same thing. See how my mind is wandering to things that have nothing to do with the previous topic? That's how the Emerson/Fuller class goes almost every single time. I mean I love it and the discussions are always interesting, but by the end of class we're usually light years away from whatever topic Emerson was pondering. But maybe I like classes like that because it makes me realize that college profs do the same thing I do...I think it's time to bring this entry to an end...
Wait no, I burned my first cd today...all by myself...and it came out good. Coldplay, Cat Power, Sense Field, Portishead, Radiohead, Sigur Ros, etc. I like it a whole lot. So now that I know I can do it...