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And I just don't give a fuck
23 April, 2003 :: 12:11 p.m.

So this semester is almost over...and this semester is shot. Not really, but it's not going as well as originally planned. It was to be my triumphant return to get my grades back up and make a serious recommitment to education...fwah...

I don't care...I will most likely fail Emerson/Fuller...big deal. I may salvage a B in Brit Lit depending on how my presentation goes (I don't even know the other guys in my group, but I do know we're meeting in the library tomorrow at 1:30...where in the library? Fuck if I know that much)...I can probably salvage my online art class too despite having forgotten about the second test. I realize that I will indeed do my oral comm class online if all goes well, but that I can't handle online classes...I forget about them. What else? Oh yeah, biggie, I should be fine with that.

I've decided that liberal studies is indeed for me and that I care no more for taking English courses...I need two more philosophy classes for a minor and I need to look into what I would need for a psych minor or whether I could pull off an English minor, but I don't care about English anymore...I do, but not about classes...the only reason I would ever want to focus on English would be to write and I don't need a degree to do that...I probably never will do that anyway... I'm just focusing on graduating with a GPA somewhere between 2.5 and 3.0 and then we'll see if I ever even use the damn thing. All college has done for me so far is make me realize what I don't want.

We may be looking for a house...we being Lacey, Jerry and me. Lacey and I don't want to live together as a couple at this point, but she needs a place in Mansfield; I could stand to lower my bills; Jerry wants to go to M.U. and needs to get out of his parents' house and Elkland all together. His dad called him stupid because he wants to be a I'm not a huge fan of cops, but Jerry is a really good guy and it's what he wants to do...seems like his parents could at least be supportive rather than tell him to get a degree he can use to get a tech job making lots of money and if he does anything other than that, he's stupid. It's bullshit. But yeah, if we can find a house with at least three bedrooms, it's something we'd all like to do.

I took yesterday off from school and work and spent some time having fun...the three of us went to the mall to do some much needed clothes shopping and it gave me a chance to get to know Jerry a little better since he's one of Lacey's best friends. I went through a brief period of jealousy towards him when my mind was doing the whole, "what do I really have to offer Lacey in this relationship?" trip...not that I thought she was interested in him or would cheat on me with him...just stupid shit...I personally think he's better looking and funnier than I am and they get along really well and they're closer in wasn't that I thought anything is happening between them or ever would as long as she's with me, I totally trust her and I don't care if she spends the day with hanging out with was just I was feeling down and Sandy from work had made a comment to Lacey that she was going to end up with Jerry eventually and the more I saw of Jerry's personality, the more it seemed like he was ahead of me in every category. But I'm done feeling it for the most part I think...I can't guarantee it won't come back, but I really think he's a great guy and he was supportive of Lacey and I getting together even when she was still dating Andy...and he is trying his best to teach me standard. I had a rather disastrous start yesterday driving the first 10 miles or so of the trip to the mall, but overall it was fun and Jerry is a good teacher because he doesn't flip out on you, he just laughs and says, "You're doing good," or, "Don't worry about that noise, you can't kill this truck, I've been a lot harder on it than that." The person behind me waiting while I stalled the truck 5 or 6 consecutive times when I first pulled onto the road probably wasn't nearly as amused, but I had a good time...even if I did end my portion of the driving with a splitting headache.

Inventory is over at work, so I took a personal day last night and will take another tonight...fuck 'em if they don't like it. Then I've got Thurs, Fri, Sat, scheduled off...I need the break and it's the only chance of me pulling my shit together to keep my grades up in the other three classes. Two more actual classes and then finals next week and I'm done... But anyway, yeah, taking a break from work... And it was great spending the day with Lacey and Jerry and actually getting out and doing some much needed summer clothes (just in time for it to feel like winter again), got to actually get Lacey a few small things. All in all a really good day.

Totally unrelated--I read an article last night/this morning about the U.S. balking at letting UN inspectors back into Iraq! WHAT THE FUCK??? Need time to plant evidence and falsify documents, Georgie? Fucking idiot. Motherfucker should be facing a war crimes trial, but will he? No no no... The U.S. has the right to squash the rights of people the world over as long as it keeps the American capitalists happy...

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