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10 September, 2003 :: 3:03 p.m.

Okay, so it's been too long since I last updated...

School--I got my second class finally. Six whopping credits this semester...even I should be able to handle that. I have ethics which I've enjoyed so far and I also have 20th Century history which really shouldn't be too bad. I will have 86 credits...I should have 95, but I've got three classes that I blew off at the ends of different semesters which I must redo...anyway, I've got at least a year and a half of school ahead of me... I really don't know how this makes me feel...on one hand, I'm thinking, "good god, is this ever going to end," and on the other I really don't want it to. I really don't see where I'm learning anything that will make me more marketable once I get out there to find a job. With diploma in hand, I shall spin until I fall over and, once recovered, head in that direction I suppose.

Work--A week ago yesterday I almost got myself fired over a stupid argument with Chadd, one of our overnight managers. The funny thing is it was very, very much like the dream I mentioned a few entries ago...the only difference was I didn't call him a "stupid little fucker" and I'm still employed...wooo. What happened? It's so stupid, just me getting tired of feeling like I'm getting no respect. We had two large trucks, Deb and I busted our asses, we were done with housewares and doing well in domestics when Chadd (yes, this is how he spells his name...I dunno) comes along and says, "So what happened to you guys?" Deb and I respond with, "....?" He says, "Well you were done in housewares before lunch. Doesn't look like you're going to get through all of this." First off, we were mostly done, we had shit to finish up, secondly, we were doing just fine in domestics. He was all worried at about 3:45 that it wasn't going to get 5 we were done and cleaning up. So I stop and talk to Doug, who usually works with us, but was in chemicals this night to tell him what he missed. I was stopped for all of one minute--tops--and Chadd comes along and says, "Get moving guys." This for whatever reason lights my very short fuse and as Doug told me later, "Your head went bright red and you were gone." I followed Chadd back to the warehouse, looked at him and said, "I'm done, see ya." I then punched out and decided I should find out if Adam, the store manager, would be in so I could talk to him if need be. Chadd informed me that if I left it was job abandonment (basically I wouldn't have a job to come back to). I said no it wasn't, job abandonment was walking out without informing management and I was letting him know...I told him a lot of things...his attitude sucks, he treats people like shit, I personally was tired of getting treated like a fucking dog, he's condescending...all sorts of shit...and I did it out on the sales floor which is a no can tell management off in the back if you are using the open door policy, but then again, Chadd was perfectly okay with arguing on the floor and he should have said that we could go to the back and talk Anyway, he kept a smirk on his face the entire time and basically kept insisting that I wasn't going to have a job. So I left, came back later and talked to Kim, the co-manager, and she hadn't heard anything about it. Which made me feel like an ass because she apparently thought I was there to bitch about, I just wanted to make sure I still had a job. So it wasn't quite like my dream, but I have no idea why I picked this night of all nights to totally lose my temper and tell him off...I've only worked with him one night since then and he acted like nothing happened, so we'll see how this goes. All I know is things were bad enough before, I took vacation which should have relaxed me and instead came back to things being worse at work and getting rather pissed quite easily. I suggested that they start a pool at work to bet on when I lose my job if this keeps up. If my second dream fulfills itself and I get into an argument with Adam on the floor, I'm done. Luckily I don't see him often; unfortunately I've narrowly held my tongue a few of those times already. Should be fun.

Not a lot else going on currently. Just getting through my classes and trying to stay employed.

Wait, one more thing...where the hell does the U.S. get off demanding the UN encourage other countries to help out in Iraq when the UN was against us going in in the first place? Fox News is almost daily bashing Germany and France for reluctance to get involved...why is this shocking? They were two of the main opponents of war with Iraq. We create a mess and then basically say, "this is bigger than we thought it would be and we demand that you help us even though you told us it was a bad idea in the first place." God love the arrogant U.S. Very funny also watching Rumsfeld's press conference being interrupted by women demanding that the troops be brought home. Okay, I'm done.

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