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03 December, 2003 :: 3:41 p.m.

My old friend depression returned a few days ago...slowly at first and now it's pretty much in full swing. It's comforting in a way...I mean I was kind of just waiting since it usually sweeps in this time of year. I can still laugh and joke but it's more of an effort and I can only do it in small doses. Pat and I are supposed to hang out Saturday and I'm confident that I'll have a good time no matter what happens (not saying that we're planning anything in particular because then it will fall through), but the rest of the time, I just want to curl up and be alone. It's convenient that depression sets in when it does for's always toward the end of the semester. Pat will go home next week as soon as his finals are over and Mansfield will become a little less full for a bit and that's perfect for the way I feel. I finally got my computer set up in my own bedroom, got my tv set up too, so now I can hide away in here as much as needed. The Gamecube is downstairs with the bigger tv, but that's ok...I generally only play it when no one else is around anyway.

I have no idea what's going on in my personal life...all I know is I feel very detached. In a way I don't care what happens...I did, but with the depression comes apathy toward that sort of thing. "Whatever whatever shit..."

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