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Moving time nears--woooo
19 April, 2004 :: 3:08 p.m.

I have to write my paper tonight...bleh. I took a personal day so that I could get it done because I realized that until my back is to the wall, I won't do it. I have until 2 p.m. tomorrow to get this done and I'm not really sure what I'm going to say. I think globalization has some perks--finding out what is happening in the rest of the world, being able to communicate with people all over the world and all that happy crap, but for the most part it's being run the way this country is run and that sucks. The rich get rich and the poor get to live in areas filled with toxic waste and/or get paid a tiny fraction of what workers in this country get paid to work in hazardous conditions for too many hours a day. Not only are people exploited in foreign countries to make our products, but we lose jobs in this country so that those people can be exploited. Globalization is global capitalism and I hate capitalism. The basic idea of capitalism is fine--the whole "you can be anyone from any background and succeed if you just work hard and have a dream..." but that's not the reality of how the system works. But anyway, I have to string my thoughts together into a coherent paper, so best not to babble about that shit in here...

The reason for this entry is because it's almost time to move again...I fucking hate moving. After doing it like 8 times in 2 years, I was enjoying being in the same place for an entire year. Now part of me is wishing I'd kept The Fortress for the simple fact that my lease would be running out there around the same time, but I'd just resign and not have to move. Here is different because I can't afford this apartment by myself and Lacey has made it clear that she wishes to live in a small apartment by herself...I don't blame her because she's never lived anywhere by herself where she didn't have to deal with others unless she chose to. That's part of why I miss The Fortress...this has not been a particularly bad place to live and other than a little drama that Lacey and I went through while figuring out how to cope with living together, we've gotten through it fine (assuming she doesn't have some huge amount of resentment built up that I am unaware of).

I briefly thought of putting up a flyer looking for a roommate here, but quickly dismissed it due to the Jerry factor. The one thing I absolutely will not miss is Jerry. I am baffled that I let him live at The Fortress for a month and we got along absolutely fine and we got along fine for a month or so here and now I can't stand being around him. The main cause for my disliking him is his total lack of thought for other people...he slams around and makes noise anytime he feels like even if someone else is trying to sleep, he wasn't paying what he agreed to for a while until it was pointed out to him (since then he's been fine about that), he has destroyed a few of my kitchen items and doesn't know how to wash a dish to save his life...just tons of small examples of how he never stops to think about what he's doing affects others. I mean no one is perfect and I'm not claiming that I'm the ideal roommate, but I have respect for my roommate's possessions and for their need to sleep or desire for quiet. The other big issue was the fact that Lacey and Jerry and I were all getting along fine for the first couple months we were all hanging out and then all the sudden he started hanging out with Lacey's ex, Andy, all the time. It was pretty blatantly clear that Andy's main reason for befriending Jerry was to keep tabs on Lacey. It might not have been so bad had they been friends while Lacey was still dating Andy, but Jerry chose to start hanging out with Andy a couple of months after the break-up when they barely spoke while Lacey was still dating him. He did this at a time when Andy was repeatedly bothering Lacey and continuing to find ways to contact her after she would tell him she didn't want to have anything to do with my mind, if you're someone's friend and their ex is harassing them, you don't decide to befriend them as well and then all but stop talking to your friend and their new boyfriend/girlfriend whom you'd been getting along with up to that point. It made no sense and apparently I hold grudges...who knew? So anyway, I look forward to being rid of Jerry as a roommate.

Since Lacey and I decided not to get a new apartment together, I originally hoped to get one with Pat, but that was when I thought he still had a year left of school...since he plans to go home for the summer and graduates in December, there's no way we can room (unless I stayed here and had another roommate as well...then Pat could just live here for the four months he was going to be around if he chose to...but I already discarded the idea of a random roommate). I can't afford to rent a 2 bedroom place for 12 months when I'd only have a roommate for 4 months. There've only ever been a few people that I thought it would be totally cool to room with and it just never works out. Chuck was my first choice, but we lived in different areas and once out of high school we chose different routes...he stayed in Corning for a few years, then moved to Cortland; I stayed in this area and eventually went to Mansfield for school. Pat was the next choice for a roommate, and now college is more or less over (for one of us at least) and that just never happened. The only other person that I could potentially see getting along with as a roommate is Steve, but I have barely talked to him this semester and have no idea when he is done with school. In a lot of ways, he'd be the ideal roommate though because we can talk to one another, but as is shown by the fact we haven't done anything this semester, we can go long periods of time without speaking to one another. That's actually the ideal roommate in my mind...and I know it would've been that way to at least some degree with Chuck or Pat as well...we can hang out and talk, but we all do our own things and don't feel the need to constantly be in the other's face. I actually don't see much of Jerry, but he is a source of annoyance when I do and I have no desire to talk to him again. It's the fact that if I have a roommate it has to be someone that I can talk to but don't feel like I have to talk to them if I just want to be by myself. So all of this leaves me most likely with looking for a place by myself and doing so before June 1. I appealed to Lacey's laziness only half-seriously that we just let Jerry move and stay here, but while she loathes the idea of moving as well, she seems to want to. The closest I got to agreement from her was she would stay for the summer if Pat moved in when school started back up so that she could have the extra time to find a new apartment, but I don't see Pat staying in Mansfield for six months after he graduates, so that still doesn't work because I'd be back to looking for a random roommate for the second semester. I could be missing out by not taking a chance on meeting someone great, but I know myself and I'm betting that it's the right I'm about ready to get out of the barn apartment and away from the crazy old landlord and his bitch of a wife......

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