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Sometimes I still miss my Fortress of Solitude...
11 May, 2004 :: 11:29 a.m.

Hahaha...I just reread an entry from way back when Lacey and Jerry and I were all still looking for an apartment and I was talking about how much I liked Jerry and thought the whole deal of the three of us living together would be I'm an idiot, nothing new.

The funny thing is Jerry seems to have no clue that his time is up...he left a note on the message board the other day saying instead of giving us two checks for $75 a piece, he's going to write one check at the end of the month for $ I was reading this I thought, "ah, ok, he's doing this because he's waiting to pay us until he moves out." Then I read further and he mentioned how he would be doing this from now on...from now on? Oh hell no. I screwed myself into this apartment for another year and if Lacey sticks with her current plan, she will move out closer to school starting up. Then I'll either have to also find a place to move to or take on a strange roommate...unless Pat wants to live here for the semester which would delay me having to move or give me more time with school actually in session to look for a roommate for the second semester. If I could go back to when I wrote the other entry knowing what I know, I'd still be living in The Fortress...for the most part things between Lacey and I have been fine living together, but I'd still have preferred the security of an apartment I loved and knowing that I'd be just signing a new lease right about now and not worrying about a roommate or anyone else. Actually Em said that Dr. Barber never even had her sign a new basically I could've just stayed there indefinitely. It's possible I'm worrying for nothing because Lacey is apathetic like I am and may just end up deciding finding another apartment is too much of a hassle...I suppose it will depend on how we get along after Jerry is'll be nice because we can basically turn the extra bedroom into a second living room or a den or least that's my vision. I can move my dvd player and a tv in there and Lacey's chair can be put in there since it's never really had a place in the living room and then there's a place where one or the other of us can escape to if we feel like being alone.

Part of me is really enjoying the fact that Jerry has no idea...I mean he should, we moved in on June 1 and it was a one year lease...I don't know what's going through his head to think that we want things to stay as they are...he and Lacey still talk some when I'm not around...She still likes him as a person I guess, but he clearly has no idea that he is driving her crazy to live with...from the fact that he and I have spoken maybe 3 times this year for more than two words, I know he knows I don't like him, but I think he thinks it's all me, that Lacey still likes him and likes the living situation. Since he and I don't talk anymore (minus a few weeks ago when the power went out), I was hoping Lacey would tell him about the lease being up, but she hasn' I guess I get to be the jerk again. He is scheduled to graduate from the police academy (which I've learned still teaches racial stereotypes--did you know that blacks, hispanics and asians all like you to be very close to them when you talk to them?...yeah, I'm sure that that's what anyone, especially a minority, wants is a cop in their face) at the end of June...Lacey said he mentioned something about maybe moving to Texas after that(I'll believe it when he's actually gone) all I can figure is he must assume that we'll renew the lease and let him finish his last month of school...nope. I don't even think I'd go for that if he paid the whole month's rent. It doesn't help that he's annoying the fuck out of me at work also, but I personally don't give a shit if he has to drive back and forth from Elkland to classes and work. Lacey doesn't want to be mean to him, but she also said that she absolutely does not want to spend another month with him again, I guess it's up to me to be the jerk.

I got a B+ in environmental ethics...I got a C+ in business ethics due to fucking up the final...I wish she would have at least posted our final paper grades so I would know how I did on that. The important thing is that school is done for the semester feels weird coming home and not at least pretending to worry about making it to class and having readings to keep up with...

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