Someone else's train
09 January, 2005 :: 5:03 p.m.
How long are you going to keep up this act? When do you stop leading friends, family and self on?
Sure, you've put a lot of time into pretending you were going somewhere with your life...letting those who thought you had potential continue their misguided belief in you...but it's time to come clean and admit that you are a pretender and failure and nothing more...
If you're honest, you've known all along that there was no goal, no real destination for this journey; you simply had nothing better to do, the train was there, and you figured you'd go along for a bit and see what happened. You knew at some point you'd be held accountable, but mile after mile passed without anyone checking for your ticket to see if you belonged, so you settled in and hoped they'd just forget you were there. And maybe it worked, maybe you've been around so long that people have forgotten you don't belong. But now what?
The bitch of it is that this train makes stops and others are free to get on or off as they please but all you can do is watch. You're afraid to step off because you don't have a ticket to get back on and you might not be able to sneak back on again. You've got to get off at some point though...
So you can fess up, say thanks for the ride and walk away, or, you can settle in, wait to be discovered and deal with the consequences...
School starts back up tomorrow morning...
I won't be there.