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Like any good American, I want it all
11 June, 2007 :: 10:16 a.m.

I went from feeling completely lost and basically having given up to wanting two very different things at the same time.

One is almost definitely the smarter route and hopefully would get me to the same place as the other path, but in better shape.

The other choice would be the instant gratification and feel good for a while (hopefully a good long while), but I'd probably fuck it up somewhere along the way and second guess myself.

Still...

For the time being I have to sit and wait and see where things go.

Why does life always work this way? A whole lot of nothing and then when something comes along, suddenly you notice something else that seems awfully appealing at the same time...

The big part of this is out of my hands for the time being, so I guess I'll just see how things play out. It could turn out I'm trying to decide between two mirages and no matter which way I go, I just find a whole lot more desert.

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