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blowing off the dust...but it will settle again quickly
30 May, 2009 :: 1:10 a.m.

I was just reading an article about the fight for the flight 93 memorial and a fight for the land and we need it now or we won't have it ready for the tenth anniversary...

anyway, don't care about the story or the just shocked me how not far off the tenth anniversary of 9/11 is. like everything else (for me at least), in some ways it feels like that long ago and in others it feels like it could've been maybe 2 years ago.

once you hit 30, months seem to lose a week...years consist of 40 weeks and you probably lose another week every couple of years...the point is, i thought back to that time and, inevitably, to here and college, friends, making new friends, personal life a bit rough, but seemed to be heading somewhere. jump seven years into the future (start of diary, not going back to 9/11) and i'm still not done with college, most of the new friends i made have since drifted away and i'm left with a smaller group than i had before i met them.

i want very badly to get together with each of the friends that i have left this summer...i want to have long conversations, drink, and make some new memories.

i toy with the idea of coming back and trying to rebuild this diary, but the people that made it special seem to have left me save for one. and i don't sweat much anymore. i feel numb or indifferent most of the time and optimistic a lot more than ever before...i'm not freaking out about anything, i'm in a good relationship, my daily routine doesn't vary what do i have to put in here? not much.

if any of the old crew find this, know that i'm still alive and doing well for the most part. i hope you are too and i miss you. i'd love to get together for a few drinks sometime and i'm wiling to be the one to travel if need be.

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