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an entry to occupy 5 minutes of my time
09 September, 2004 :: 1:05 p.m.

I have officially skipped every class except Kafka now...

I didn't have my reading done for philosophy and I just decided not to bother which led to not going to the Beat Generation even though I like that class so far, but it's right after philosophy and it just didn't seem worth it. that is a class I'm gonna have to force myself to go to. The professor is amusing and seems like a nice enough guy and he is way clearer than half the math teachers I had in high school...but I realized the first day how much shit I've forgotten. You truly do not use algebra in day-to-day life. If I haven't used it since high school and I've been out for 10 years, why the fuck do I have to take it now? It's bullshit, but what are you gonna do? Come to think of it, I don't think one fucking class I've taken in college has given me knowledge that I need to get by...I'm not learning anything that would make me more qualified for a "real" job. But with that stupid paper I've at least got a shot...without it I'll be at walmart for the next 40 years. Fuck.

It's really pathetic that I've thought about individual classes, but this is the first time I really stopped and realized that absolutely NOTHING I've done in the past 5 years makes me any more qualified for a job than I was to start with. I know more useless crap than I did when I started. Honestly at this point the only job I'd be qualified for is an English teacher and since that's not my major, the only way that will happen is if I move to one of the areas of this country that are so hard up for teachers that they'll hire you and worry about you getting your ed degree afterwards. That is quite honestly the only possibility for me...better to be an underpaid teacher in a poor district somewhere than tell people I stock shelves for a living. Hmmmm.

There's no point to this entry, I just can't sleep and I need to meet up with Lacey in 2 hours and if I sleep now I won't be getting up to meet her.

Back to reading the stuff I should've already read for today...wooo.

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