Still having subject line block...
19 December, 2002 :: 8:53 p.m.
--Here I am, here I am
--goddamn that was quick
--Told ya I was comin'...ummm, yeah
ahhh, old school rap when there was more good shit than bad...unlike today.
That has nothing to do with anything...but when does anything I say have to do with anything?
I guess I'm going out tonight. Amber stopped by housewares last night and asked when I had off. I said tonight (cause I've worked so much this week what with taking Saturday off because Keri was up and missing Monday due to car trouble--nothing $206 couldn't fix)...I just got image of me throwing $206 at my car and *poof* fixed! I'm a retard.
Anyhoo (I love that word as well, KidE), Amber invited me to go out with her and I guess my friend Tara and a few other people are supposed to be there. We'll see...I love Tara, but she has a habit of saying, "Yeah, sure, I'll be there," and then forgetting or having something else come up...sometimes she makes it though. And I'm not sure who the others will be, just that Amber said, "a bunch of us from work." I'm supposed to meet her at walmart in case she decides to go to Lando's instead of the Marx Bros. This leaves me with no clue how to dress because Lando's is usually very warm and you dance which makes you even warmer...the Marx Bros. is just a regular bar and I could get away with something warmer.
Oy...(better, Erin?) I don't know what to think. I'm half wondering if I'm gonna show up and find out it's just Amber and me. I have gotten a vibe from her since the first night we hung out that she's interested in me, but I don't know for sure. I always feel like a fool if I think a girl is interested in me because that little voice of self-doubt pops up and says, "Why would she be interested in you, schmuck?" And then there's the fact that Amber is cool and fun to hang out with and even attractive, but she is soooo not my type. Her personality is cute, but she is too girl, too ditz...if she were blonde she would be a living example of all blonde jokes...actually I don't think she's that dumb but she's one of those girls you would expect to hear say, "But I can't do that, I'm just a girl..." followed by a little tee hee. A lot of the reason I have so much fun hanging out with her is because it's so easy to pick on her. But it's okay, because hopefully there will be other people there as well and we can just hang out. I'm so not looking to hook up with anyone, especially not someone I work with who is sort of friends with Teri who hangs with the same crowd of friends as Teri (including Tara). In fact this whole thing should really rub Teri the wrong way since anyone that could potentially be part of this group is going to be someone Teri calls a friend. But just because we broke up and just because they are also her friends, does this mean I can't have a social life, that I have to sit at home on my nights off and wonder what I'm missing out on, wondering what everyone else is doing while I sit on my ass? I don't think so. Plus there's the fact that I cancelled on Amber the last time she asked me to hang out and, as I learned in high school, you can only cancel on people so many times before they stop asking you to do things--and then you do end up sitting at home on your ass wondering what everyone else is doing. (Unless you are Tara...that girl has about a 10:1 ratio of times asked to go out to times she actually shows up and yet everybody always wants her to be there) Okay, time to figure out what I'm wearing...