Time ain't on my side
08 January, 2003 :: 1:43 p.m.
I've had a lot on my mind the last few days...now I make an unscheduled trip to my parents' house and have time to make an entry and...nada.
One thing I can say is being fucked with a chainsaw would be preferable to moving again anytime soon...I'm loving being in my own place, I do not however like the task of cleaning and getting everything organized. I'm working on it, but it goes slow. Partly because I have no ability to focus on a task...I start in the kitchen and before I know it I'm putting away clothes and before I finish that somehow I end up in the bathroom organizing things...so I have a lot done, just nothing done completely. But it's getting there. And I have tonight and tomorrow night off from work, so more will get done.
Tomorrow is the day of funeral services for my grandfather. I'm not looking forward to it, never look forward to funerals. I have a bad feeling this is going to be a year for them though. I doubt my grandmother will be around much longer now without my grandfather (I think we all actually expected her to go first). My mom's father also had a rough last year, but hopefully he's on the mend now. You just never know. I'm the only one that I know my age who hadn't lost a grandparent or someone close up until the other day. Now it's going to be a landslide. I haven't seen my grandparents on my father's side in two years. I need to get up there and visit, I just keep not getting around to it, or my car isn't running well, or if I'm up that way I'm with someone to do something specific. I guess I need to stop making excuses and get up there before they aren't there to visit anymore. I just don't feel close to a lot of my family and grandparents in particular. I don't know why. It's hard to grieve someone who lived a long life. When my nephew died last year after being alive not even three days, that was extremely tough to take...I never got to see him, hold him...he never had a chance. But my grandparents have all exceeded the life expectancy (with the exception of my mom's dad, I think)...I mean 70+ years...that's a long time to be around and to live. Those last years are filled with failing health and not being able to do all the things you once were able to. So it's hard to grieve. Yes, I will miss my grandfather's presence and his humor, but he did a lot with his life.
In other news, I just got an e-mail from the college...I have been selected for verification. Once I pay my fine, I can register, but the verification involves sending in my tax info which means getting my refund will be delayed! Oh happy day...who needs books? Not me.