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Fortress of Solitude does not mean, "No visitors welcome"
16 January, 2003 :: 10:27 a.m.

I'm feeling conflicted right now...Let me start by saying that thus far I am loving the living in My.Own.Place, but when I named it the Fortress of Solitude, it was half as a joke and half because, yes, now I have somewhere to run and escape the masses when I need to...but SOME goddamn visitors would be nice. Martha and Charlie (my sis and bro-in-law) were there briefly helping me move stuff in, my parents stopped by just long enough to see the place, Em's been down I think 4 times now for a total of maybe 30 mins (that's approximation since she was there yesterday because she was locked out of her apartment, but I was off to pick up Pat and grab cigs), Pat has been there about 15 mins. Oddly enough the person who has given me the most company has been Teri. She spent the first night with me in the apartment and she stopped over for a couple hours one night after work...granted these were times to have sex (yes, we are sorta doing the fuck buddy thing...we get along great when we aren't in a relationship), but I truly enjoyed her company as well. It was nice to have someone to talk to. No, I'm not going to start handing out maps to the Fortress or throwing wild parties in hopes of gaining new friends because lets face it, the people who would show up are the people I want solitude from...I'm just tired of feeling disconnected. I think that's the big problem I'm computer, no cable. Unless I'm talking on the phone, I'm by myself and there are few people I have to talk to via phone. Hopefully it will only be a week or two until I have my computer, hopefully people I know and like will start dropping by. I suppose I should get some furniture, that's one reason I haven't gone out of my way to specifically ask anyone to come over...I mean unless you don't mind sitting at a barstool in the kitchen or lying (laying?...that is one grammar lesson I will never, ever learn) on my futon with me and taking in the wonders of my 13" television (I do have a decent collection of tapes and DVD's), you probably aren't going to want to come hang out at my flat at this time...Teri has promised me a loveseat and two chairs, but the trick is getting our schedules to match up and at the same time have someone with a truck who is also available. Thus far it has not been possible. But anyone I know is welcome to drop by at anytime.

In other news...I am feeling great about regaining that part of me I lost last fall...being a student. I think I will be able to not only handle this semester, but do well...ah, but there is still plenty of time for me to find drama if I do get bored. I did something Tuesday night that I've not done in...longer than I can remember, possibly ever--I wrote an essay that isn't due til today. The catch? I wrote it by hand because I have no computer of my own and the campus police station is the only place you can go in the middle of the night to use a comp and fuck that. Actually Tuesday night was jotting down a shitload of ideas, then yesterday after my entry I distilled them into an essay...don't as me how but I managed to start with Emerson's "The American Scholar" and end with Fight Club...I may post it after I finalize it...that's right, while I'm writing this I'm supposed to be typing up the final version of this paper...does this mean I did a rough draft? Jeeeebus. (But I don't even believe in Jebus--purely for my own entertainment there) I never do rough drafts. Never, never ever never. I am so fucking tired it's ridiculous so I guess I better get to typing out that bad boy...

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